The Isaan Wedding 1
- art58koen
- 1 hour ago
- 4 min read
A few weeks ago, over a table filled with empty beer bottles, I was casually asked by The Deplorable Edward Pastanga (TDEP) if I’d be interested in taking some photos at his daughter’s wedding on his farm somewhere deep down in darkest Nakhon Ratchasima province, Isaan.
I must admit having a strong aversion to weddings, especially formal ones.
Earlier this year, I went with my wife to her niece’s wedding, quite a large affair somewhere in the outskirts of Bangkok.
It was incredibly formal with lots of influential persons (Phu Yai, often noticeable by the large hairdos of their wives), family, friends, a wedding planner, and at least 3 photographers.
The wedding planner talked continuously, as if she was paid by the number of words; it was highly irritating.
Worse were the photographers, who only took photos of people posing: “Stand straight, smile, thumbs up, smile, fingers-heart symbol, smile, etc.”
My wife asked me several times to stop grinding my teeth and muttering curses.
When it was our turn to pose, I had to restrain my middle finger!
But as I had enjoyed TDEP's hospitality (and beers) several times over the years, I was easily persuaded (bribed).
He did warn me though, that quite a lot of people probably would show up, a potentially volatile mix of guests (mainly from Bangkok) and in-laws/country folks from the old nearby village, quaintly known as Lump In The Middle.
I guess all the best village names had already been taken.
Seeing immediate and even possibly fascinating photogenic opportunities (and beer), I assured him that it was all fine with me.
It also became very clear that he needed some serious moral support to survive this event.
Last early Saturday morning, we set off and with only one coffee & snack stop along the way, reached our destination.
A couple of large striped tents were already set up, as well as an impressive outdoor cooking area from which wafts of evil “pla ra” (Thai fermented fish sauce) wafted.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with this sauce, be very happy, as the smell is absolutely revolting, but for mysterious reasons, it's considered an essential element of Isaan-style cooking.
I began to have second thoughts, but by now it was too late to retreat.
After spending some time at a safe distance, avoiding TDEP’s wife Guinevere, drilling TDEP on the preparations for the wedding, and equally ducking TDEP’s daughter Tinkerbel and her boyfriend Peter Pan, TDEP and I finally took a step back to discuss our options.
The changes in the former Grandpa Cafe, which TDEP considered his private lounge area, were not to his liking at all. TDEP fretted the likelihood that some of the guests and/or monks would pinch some bottles from his special whiskey cabinet, which was not entirely without merit.
TDEP’s concerns multiplied as his wife informed him that the ‘wise old woman’ of the village was coming as well to make sure that tomorrow’s wedding ceremony would follow Lump In The Middle’s ‘ancient sacred traditions.’
Knowing TDEP’s opinion of the wisdom of 'wise old village people,' his suspect belief in the benefits of 'ancient sacred traditions,' I could only sympathize with him.
His language used to describe the old crone was as traditional as it was blasphemous and can’t be repeated here.
The Thai traditional wedding (Bai Sri Su Khawn) is practiced all over the North and Northeast of Thailand, but the ceremony may vary from place to place.
One thing is universal though, the groom has to cough up some serious money (& gold!) to ‘buy’ permission from the bride’s parents to get married.
A Master of Ceremonies (Mor Khawn) is also an important part of the ceremony as he does the chanting in both Thai and Pali languages.
Of course, monks will come as well to give their blessings in return for various gifts.
TDEP’s backup plan was clever, hiding out in the back (& comfort) of his son’s (The Hermit) house as far away as possible from the wedding chaos for The Hermit lived at the far end of the farm away from the madding crowd.
For extra protection, 4 vicious dogs roamed the land between The Hermit’s house (our refuge) and the wedding war zone.
We nevertheless mingled a little bit with some of the locals and managed to score some decent Thai food without pla ra!
Most of the afternoon we spent at The Hermit’s house, listening to music and drinking beer, building up a proper mood to deal with whatever would happen.
Just before dinner, we went for a walk around TDEP’s farm, which seems to grow larger every time I visit.
Dinner was under the striped tents and quite acceptable; to our surprise, some of the Bangkok office friends had arrived too.
However, the sky was getting darker and darker, and soon it was raining in biblical proportions.
Luckily, we’d reached our hideout in time and enjoyed our peaceful evening until it was bedtime.
To be continued!
